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It was billed as a “luxury” apartment building and just walking through the lobby and seeing the concierge and gym & pool, etc got me soooo excited!
It really was like a hotel :) Had coffee downstairs and everything.
I quietly excused his behavior because I did not want to believe what I already knew.
We continued like this until a rainy April day in 2015. “I treated you differently because of it, yes,” he said. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still carry some scars about all the months I didn’t fully understand the root of his behavior (or was in denial). But hidden within my analysis after our relationship ended was that aforementioned lesson: My ex did not love me, as he once claimed — at least, not in any way I consider worthwhile.
After writing a book about relationships and watching so many people live out some incredible love stories, I have a lot of hopes for those who are still searching.
If that’s you, let me just say that I hope you find someone who makes you feel seen.
To let down my guard, to reveal my ugly and pretty parts, to relax and breathe into someone else, is to feel really loved. But it’s the only way to experience the kind of love that penetrates the surface and nestles into all those gorgeous dents and cracks.
Anything less feels like a forced version of intimacy.
It was an instinctual reaction to full-scale rejection: Hide the more complicated parts of yourself that are harder for someone to understand.
In this case, I could never have predicted that tag would lead to a greater lesson about love.
When I noticed the confused expression on my ex’s face, I quickly explained it to him.
I feel quite sure that the right person will take all my pros and cons, flaws and smarts, expansiveness and brokenness, and help me appreciate it in full; I will do the same for them.
and I went apartment shopping this weekend (more to come on that later), and this place we checked out reminded me of an old-school hotel.